1998
This year's Guizer Jarl was David Henry from the Haa o Houlland. David took on the role of Solomun Siguardson for the event.
David's Jarl Squad:
- Colin Nicholson [Midbrake] (Ex Jarl)
- Brian Thompson [Uphouse] (Future Jarl)
- Trevor Henderson [Kilmoden]
- Marvin Thomason [Fealzie]
- Edward Nicolson [Greenbank Terrace]
- Ian Anderson [Brekness]
1998 Proclamation:
GUIZERS WILL MUSTER AT BURNSIDE AT 7.30PM.
WIR JARL IS A FERRY FRUITY FELLOW, AND HAARDY SEAMAN, WHOU'LL LAND HIS GALLEY AT FIVE OR LATER AT DA PIER. HE COULD STRAY AWAY AND BE VERRY BUSY TUNNELING NEAR DA KIRK LOCH. HE CAN COOK UP A GEM OF A MEAL DAT WILL SEWERLY SUIT ANY GUIZER.
WELCOME TO UP HELLY AA, WIR JARL IS DAVID 'O' DA HAA.
DA SQUADS HAVE PRACTISED FOR A WHILE, ARE ALWAYS SURE TO MAKE YOU SMILE. DA BLACK ROSE CEILDH BAND IS HERE TO PLAY, FOR YOU TO DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY.
AND IF YOUR NAME IS ON DA BILL, WE HOPE DAT YOU WILL TAK NO ILL.
ALONG DA BEACH CAM DA TRUCK, FAE UNDER DA BRIG CAM DA DUG.
AND WHEN DEY MET, WELL YOU CAN GUESS, DA DUG HE CAM AFF SECOND BEST. DA FUNERAL COULD HAVE BEEN NO QUICKER, TRANSPORT AND BURIAL, WAS ALL BY DIGGER.
CHARLIE'S BRAND NEW WATER VAN, WI FLASHING LIGHTS, ALL SPIC AND SPAN. AMONG DA SNOW, SHE DID SLIDE, AND LANDED UP APU HER SIDE.
NUMBER 16 FOR ME, NUMBER 16 FOR ME, IF YOU'VE LIVED THERE LATELY YOU'RE NO USE TO ME,
THE ADAMS WISNA DAT BI AW, NOR DA PEERIE MAN AN AA,
BUT DEM IT CAM FUR CHRISTMAS, WIS DA WORST O DEM AA.
YELLS BIGGEST REBEL WENT TAE UNST ON DA SPREE,
GEAD A WIFE A RUN HOME AND CAUSED A MALEE,
HE'LL NO BE KIBBY TAE GO OWER AGEEN,
BECAUSE NOO HIS LISCENCE IS NO WANCE SAE CLEAN.
MY FISHING DAYS ARE OWER, WI' RETIREMENT I'M BEEN SMITTEN.
MANY A FISH I MAY HAVE MISSED, BUT MANY A ROCK IM HITTEN.
WI' ME PEERIE CROFT, AND ME HOOSE DON UP NOO, EVERYTHING IS COSY,
ILL HAE MORE TIME TA SPEND DA NIGHTS WI ME DARLING ROSY.
UP OWER APUN DA GUTCHER HILL, LIVE WOULD BE CROFTERS SUE & PHIL,
AND EFTER DAYS O TOIL AND WARK, DEY FENCED IN TWA PEERIE PARKS.
BUT DICKIE HAD DA FINAL SAY, AND MADE DEM TAK DER FENCE AWAY,
BUT GRASS IS WHAT A KIDDY NEEDS, AND CARES NO MUCH FUR TITLE DEEDS.
WE COULD SOON HAVE A SHOW,
WI AA DA PET DOGS IN CULLIVOE,
"BENJI" AND "TWIGGIE" COULD TRY,
SO COULD "SASHA" AND "SLY",
AN "JARL", "KYLA", "CALLUM" AND "JOE".
A SOOTH YELL FISHERMAN LOST HIS ROD, FISHING AFF O BALTI FOR HADDOCK & COD,HE WROTE IN HIS BOOK, HE WIS WAST OF 4, IT COST HIM £2000 AFORE IT WIS OWER.
THINGS WE WOULD LIKE TO KNOW:
1. DID IAN GET PLASTERED AT THE ORKNEY WEDDING ?
2. HAS DA CHIEF MARSHALL FOUND HIS COCK!!! ?
3. WHO IS DA SLEEPING PARTNER ON DA MADALIA ?
4. WAS THERE DYNAMITE AT DA CLYPTER ?
5. DID CHRISTOPHER GET MUSSELED OUT OF THE SOLSTACE ?
6. HAS MICHAEL TURNED INTO A PRIEST ?
7. DID THE ICE FACTORY GET A COOL RECEPTION IN FEALZIE ?
8. DOES LOCAL FISHERMAN CATCH LING FOR OTTERS ?
9. DID MICHAEL FIND SOLASTICE IN THE HEATHERBELLE ?
THREE MEN WENT A HUNTING, TO SEE IF THEY COULD FIND.
AN AEROPLANE ATAE DA LOCH DAT SOMEONE LEFT BEHIND,
SOME FOWK SAY "GOSSAWATER", IDDERS DEY SAY NAE,
ITS OWER DA HILL IN FLUGA WATER, DAT DA PLANE WIS CASTAWAY.
DEFACERS OF OUR BILL WILL BE PICKED, COOKED AND JAMMED IN A POLYTUNNEL, THEN TAKEN BY SUPER FERRY AND TIED UP AT BELMONT.
BY ORDER AND UNDER SEAL OF THE GUIZER JARL.
DAVID HENRY
